Observing Communication

Provide an account of your observation.

I was going to write about a very small occurance that I observed in my Family Child Care Home, but decided to write about a movie, I was watching with my husband. Grown Ups had many communication amongst the adult and child, however, there was one incident that stood out the most.

Describe what you noticed and learned.

There was a scene where Roxanne (Salma Hayek) was on the phone and trying to pack and get ready for a trip to Mullan. Meanwhile, her daughter was trying to tell her mom to look. She was excited and  ran downstairs, she told mom that her tooth came out. Mom continued to talk on the phone. She said honey I am on the phone. Her daughter told her her mommy my tooth came out, I need to put it under the pillow for the tooth fairy. Mom, said okay hun (without eye contact), I will put the money under the pillow when I get off the phone.  The daughter said what. Mom repeated herself, I will put the dollar under the pillow when I get off the phone,angrily. Mom slowly turned around .  The daughter responded, why would you put the money under my pillow, there is no tooth fairy and she ran off. Mom paused and questioned, "What have I done".
From time to time, we get busy and we take a phone call and children may come up to us at that moment to talk with us. Perhaps if mom, had said, ok dear, we can talk about when I get off the phone rather than try to hold a conversation with two people at the same time. Her daughter Becky was trying so hard to get her attention and share her exciting experience.

Though I must say,mom realized her mistake and tried to correct it. As the movie progressed, a group of children were talking utilizing cup phones. Dad walked in and thought it was great to have the cup phones installed in all the adult rooms. This was a way for mom to talk to Becky in a playful way. We have to find a connection with the child and communicate with them on a level they are comfortable. Becky enjoyed the cup phone and mom used it to explain the whole situation.

Make connections between what you observed and the effective communication strategies presented in this week’s learning resources. What could have been done to make the communication more affirming and effective?

When we communicate with children, we should respect them enough to provide them with our full attention. "Children have to feel listened to and seen" (Laureate, 2011). We have to find a connection with the children. Mom could have placed the call on hold or asked to call back. Becky needed moms full attention. At the same time, mom would not have felt frustrated and blurted out the comment she made out of her frustration. They could have shared this exciting event togethe in a positive light, placed the tooth securely on the pillow, acknowledge her loss of tooth and carried on with a conversation about it and later mom could return the phone call.

Share your thoughts with regard to how the communication interactions you observed may have affected the child's feelings and/or any influences it may have had on the child's sense of self worth.

Her daughter as played in the movie, felt hurt and felt that mommy was not giving her the attention she wanted. Mommy's job and phone call was more important than what she was trying to tell her about her tooth. "They need to feel respected and they need to feel grounded in themselves and aaccepted for who they are, and heard" (Laureate, 2011). At the same time, mom realized what she said and felt bad. Words hurt, especially when we say things without thinking.
Second, she felt really bad when mommy replied that she would put money under her pillow. This was a tradition where her daughter understood the Tooth Fairy was going to place money in place of her tooth. Her daughter feels that there is no Tooth Fairy. Not only was she ignored by mommy and yelled at, but mommy lied to her too about the Tooth Fairy.

Offer insights on how the adult-child communication you observed this week compares to the ways in which you communicate with the children. What have you learned about yourself this week with respect to how well you talk with and listen to young children? In what ways could you improve?

"The impatient sounds of fax and answering machines; the continuous clicking of laptop computers; cell phone beepers going off at the most inopportune moments punctuate daily lives. There is little opportunity for silence to speak, and when it does, we are often too busy to listen" (Silen, 2005 &2008, p 81). There were times the phone rings and in the middle of a conversation, the children may approach me to ask a question or say something. I place my hand on the phone and ask if they could wait a minute and that I was on the phone. Often times, I would tell the person, excuse me and place them on hold. Honestly, I can say, if I do not place the caller on hold, I would sometimes forget or the child may forget what they needed to ask. Phone calls are usually limited.

The use of laptop, especially with homework or so, is limited to night time because I my boys and little foster children plus daycare children, who needs my undivided attention throughout the day. One thing I do is make myself available to the children to listen to them and allow them to ask questions. I feel it is important to hear what they have to say, especially about their day and so forth. With my Family Child Care Home, the children are learning about themselves, new things and their surroundings and always have questions. I have to be attentive to their needs rather it's on a individual or group basis.

Reference

Silin, J. G. (2005 and 2008). Who can speak? Silence, voice and pedagogy. In: Yelland, N. (Ed.) Critical issues in early childhood education. (p 81). Berkshire, Great Britain: McGraw-Hill Education. Retrieved from: http://site.ebrary.com.ezp.waldenulibrary.org/lib/waldenu/docDetail.action?docID=10175188

Laureate Education, Inc. (2011). Communication with Young Children. Strategies for working with diverse children. Baltimore, MD: Author